Tag Archives: polyamory

Status report (Part 1)

Status check…

Polyamorous… Subject remains open to seeking multiple romantic relationships at the same time with the knowledge and consent of all parents. Subject is currently dating multiple people.

Pansexual… Subject remains attracted to individuals regardless of sex or gender. Subject retains her unrequited crush on P!NK and has been known to state that she “would have [P!NK’s] babies.”

Geek… Subject LARPs between 1-3 times per month. She participates in regular tabletop RPGs, reads excessive amounts of fantasy and science fiction, and is working on finding a a pattern for a “Jayne hat” for her boyfriend.

Girl… Subject retains gender identity.

Processing….

Status update saved.

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August 24, 2013 · 6:00 pm

ESS TEE EYE

Note: This post has been in the queue for a few weeks. I’m hoping to be a bit better at typing by tomorrow after having my fingers squished in a car window. I have a really cool post about sexual orientation/identity coming up that I’m hoping for a lot of feedback on, so please share and respond!

So when’s the last time you got tested for STIs? One of the best and/or worst things about being non-monogamous is that you’re a lot more aware of your risk for a sexually transmitted infection. (Oh yes, I’m being pretentious and using the proper term. )

On one hand, it’s a pain in the ass. The health department was efficient, if not truly quick, but I’ve never had a doctor completely ignore me and talk about her shoulder surgery to the nurse while shoving a speculum up my hoo-ha.  Believe me, I’ll be seeing my family doc from here on out.  I had to go over my lunch due to their STI clinic hours, and calling back for results was inconvenient as hell.

On the other hand though, I am STI free and can prove it.  Despite primarily having protected sex for the past year, this only lowers my risk, not removes it. And getting to a point in a relationship where condoms are not necessary is a good thing for me!   But I’m responsible not only for my sexual health, but also my partners’ health and their partners’ health.  My irresponsibility can affect them, and vice-versa, so it’s good non-monogamy to be tested on a regular basis. Kind of like getting a period even when you know you’ve used birth control, it’s that reassurance that I haven’t screwed anything up.

I don’t know any of my mono friends who get tested at all – at least no one’s told me!- but if anyone out there has experience to the contrary, let me know.

 

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Filed under Sausage Making

Donovan

I have been seeing Donovan for just over a year now. We live 500 miles apart, so “seeing” is sometimes a stretch. We met through a mutual friend, who also knows James, and were introduced because I was doing my thesis on this weiiiird topic called polyamory.  (Long story, but I never finished the thesis.)

We have the biggest age difference of any of my partners, and that generational gap can be hard sometimes. He’s also married, and did I mention he lives 500 miles away? He’s a geek, and a writer, and the sort of pagan expert guy (technical term) who teaches (unless you are an unwilling non-believer girlfriend…long story.) When he smiles the room lights up, and when he puns the walls themselves groan.

When we finally met it was Beltane. And oh, was it Beltane *grin*
Our first few months were a whirlwind of gaming and geek conventions wrapped up with me falling for another couple. It ended badly between the couple and I and Donovan got the worst of it. He had to learn how to share far too soon after we got together, and then had to learn how to deal with a break-up..something I hadn’t done while still having other partners. Add in that the new exes are also friends of his, and it was a perfect storm. I don’t feel like I have been the best girlfriend to him…I know I haven’t. With the breakup, money shortages, health problems and just life getting in the way our nearly monthly visits turned into every three months or so. It’s the “or so” that kills things.

I love him, I do, but I dislike the distance I feel when we’re so far away. It’s our job to do something about it, but I mostly blame myself. Without Donovan I wouldn’t have had some wonderful experiences, and I wouldn’t have had someone to cushion my fall. (Here comes the sappiness) If I’ve made it sound like I don’t care or love him I’m doing it wrong. I love him so, so very much. Even if I frustrate the hell out of him. And I know the feeling is reciprocated…the love not the frustration. Anyway, i hope to be seeing him this July and to stop trying to use my words to express my feelings. Sometimes I suck at words.

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Exhaustions

My apologies in advance for how rambling this post is, but read the post and you’ll probably understand why it is this way.

I’m broke, aching and worn out. Let me rewind a bit. I drove up to visit Will yesterday after work (yeah I get to work on holidays, go me…) he was running two test games of D&D “Next”. We had a blast, honestly, give it a shot if you know someone in the beta. I managed to make it up there without spending any actual money thanks to a horded gas card from two Christmases ago and a ten cent discount from a Kroger Plus card.

Will and his other girlfriend cooked a ton of food, brats and burgers on the grill, pasta salad, roasted potatoes, queso, buffalo chicken dip…have I mentioned my guy can cook? (Our guy? One of my guys?) Game was fun, and we got some cuddle times after. I’d hoped to spend the night, but we both needed better sleep than that.

Which leads me to…I really hate goodbyes. Why do I hate goodbyes? I hate being alone.

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What I Watched: Tying the Knot

Poster pic

Watch it here
IMDB

If you have that family member who isn’t actively anti-gay but can’t quite bear to “be ok with” same-sex marriage, try watching this film with them.  It shows clearly how in love couples are, but also the harm caused by not recognizing marriage. There is a widow who could not receive her all but legal wife’s police pension, a widower whose home was taken away by cousins of his deceased husband; whether it’s legal restrictions or downright cruelty, the pain is very, very real.

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Filed under Politics, Review