“Couples may get health benefits simply from sleeping in the same bed, a burgeoning field of study is showing. In fact, some scientists believe that sleeping with a partner may be a major reason why people with close relationships tend to be in better health and live longer.”
Monthly Archives: June 2012
Apologies for my absence from the blog. Life has been crazy. Expect to see posts about how crazy it’s been. In the meantime, I’ve been sitting on this post for a while because I wanted to fine tune it. If you think it’s not fine tuned, just assume it’s because I’m a crappy writer. Much ❤ ~PG
So I wrote about pansexuality here. If you haven’t read it, please go do now. (I mean you can lie and stay here if you want, but I’ll be really disappointed in you…)
So I was linked to this article discussing pansexuality and I felt like it was a really good attempt to explain the concept but it got very confused when it introduced and compared polyamory along with bi/poly/pansexuality. Polyamory is not a sexual orientation. You can argue whether it is a relationship orientation or a way of life or just something some people do, but it’s not about who one is oriented to sexually, but the number of partners one is willing to accept.
Note: This post has been in the queue for a few weeks. I’m hoping to be a bit better at typing by tomorrow after having my fingers squished in a car window. I have a really cool post about sexual orientation/identity coming up that I’m hoping for a lot of feedback on, so please share and respond!
So when’s the last time you got tested for STIs? One of the best and/or worst things about being non-monogamous is that you’re a lot more aware of your risk for a sexually transmitted infection. (Oh yes, I’m being pretentious and using the proper term. )
On one hand, it’s a pain in the ass. The health department was efficient, if not truly quick, but I’ve never had a doctor completely ignore me and talk about her shoulder surgery to the nurse while shoving a speculum up my hoo-ha. Believe me, I’ll be seeing my family doc from here on out. I had to go over my lunch due to their STI clinic hours, and calling back for results was inconvenient as hell.
On the other hand though, I am STI free and can prove it. Despite primarily having protected sex for the past year, this only lowers my risk, not removes it. And getting to a point in a relationship where condoms are not necessary is a good thing for me! But I’m responsible not only for my sexual health, but also my partners’ health and their partners’ health. My irresponsibility can affect them, and vice-versa, so it’s good non-monogamy to be tested on a regular basis. Kind of like getting a period even when you know you’ve used birth control, it’s that reassurance that I haven’t screwed anything up.
I don’t know any of my mono friends who get tested at all – at least no one’s told me!- but if anyone out there has experience to the contrary, let me know.
So I have several posts coming up but suffered a few injured fingers. It was a sacrifice to the power window gods of Will’s car. So more later, my apologies.
Not that I actually have a mailbox full of questions, but instead I’m going to use this post for you to send me your questions.
What questions do you have about polyamory, pansexuality or … well generally geekiness? What topics interest you? Are you looking for advice?
You can leave a comment on this post, or send me an email at:
OR post on my facebook page:
(and click Like while you’re there)
More to come for the weekend, everyone. But please send me your feedback!
Ok you guys. This is NOT safe for work, you’ve been absolutely warned. Continue reading
It’s Pride Month! And I’ve been slacking a bit (actually I have been lining up some future posts, so there shouldn’t be more odd gaps in my posting.)
But I figured I’ve talked quite a bit about my relationships and various geeky things but not so much about the “pan” part of (PG)^2. So here is why I identify as pansexual and a little bit more about what that means.
On Netflix streaming or I’m sure you can find it elsewhere online but I don’t see it on the usual legit documentary sites.
I have been to ONE drag show in my life. It was an accident actually, it was my friend’s birthday and she wanted to go to the local gay bar (yes, the singular gay bar, for those of you in bigger metropolitan areas) for dancing and drinking. First, you can tell how good of a friend she is by the fact that I went to a bar for her. But secondly it turned out that it was drag show night at the bar. It was primarily Drag Queens, but one King stood out doing one of the best Michael Jackson “impression”/lip sync and dancing that I’ve ever seen. He was fantastic.
Venus Boyz is about drag kings in Manhattan, but it’s even more about female masculinity. What does it mean to be a drag king? What does it mean to be androgynous, butch, or femme? Some of the women featured slipped back and forth, some identified strongly one way or the other. And watching someone very feminine face transform into a masculine one is fascinating. Some of the performers described it as charged with erotic energy and, I personally could feel some of that. Watching a king and a queen talking to each other in their street voices yet in their stage makeup is a mindfuck, but in the best sort of way.
Interesting was one woman’s experience becoming a black man and experiencing the racism directed at a black man – they’ll steal, they’ll harm you, etc. – rather than as a black woman. Another described his history as growing up the only black child with his mother’s family (Alaskan Native/European), his mother was a lesbian and poor and his father was black and Chocktaw with at least one cross-dressing pic of his own. He had just started identifying as trans. I need to stop telling people’s stories here! It’s fascinating though. His point was how on the margins he’d always been and walking those margins now was where he belonged. There’s also some really cool parts showing some women learning how to occupy space, walk, and even move your eyes like men.
Augh, enough! I can’t summarize the whole thing.
I have a fascination with androgyny and gender roles. I find people who cross those boundaries very appealing and often attractive. And there’s just something about a woman with a shaved head that I can’t quite explain. But the kings in this movie made it clear that it is about power and empowerment whether sexual, artistic, or social and that’s what makes this so awesome. Watch this, learn things!