Monthly Archives: May 2012

Girls Night Geekery

Our local gaming group had our girls night this evening. It was full of madness and hilarity and inappropriate comments. Actual gaming has so far been kept to a minimum.

We played a party game and then wrapped up with Cards Against Humanity. There seem to be two subsets of us, those who have no problems making dirty jokes and playing CAH and those who are not really comfortable. We try to accommodate both, but it’s really pretty hard when we really want to play the most inappropriate of games. If you haven’t played CAH it’s like Apples to Apples with sex, holocaust and poop jokes.
Buy it. Play it. Love it.

But that’s it for today. Nothing else has been exciting since finding out that the face eating guy in Florida was apparently NOT a zombie.

So what sorts of geeky things are you up to? What do you want to know more about?


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I have been seeing Donovan for just over a year now. We live 500 miles apart, so “seeing” is sometimes a stretch. We met through a mutual friend, who also knows James, and were introduced because I was doing my thesis on this weiiiird topic called polyamory.  (Long story, but I never finished the thesis.)

We have the biggest age difference of any of my partners, and that generational gap can be hard sometimes. He’s also married, and did I mention he lives 500 miles away? He’s a geek, and a writer, and the sort of pagan expert guy (technical term) who teaches (unless you are an unwilling non-believer girlfriend…long story.) When he smiles the room lights up, and when he puns the walls themselves groan.

When we finally met it was Beltane. And oh, was it Beltane *grin*
Our first few months were a whirlwind of gaming and geek conventions wrapped up with me falling for another couple. It ended badly between the couple and I and Donovan got the worst of it. He had to learn how to share far too soon after we got together, and then had to learn how to deal with a break-up..something I hadn’t done while still having other partners. Add in that the new exes are also friends of his, and it was a perfect storm. I don’t feel like I have been the best girlfriend to him…I know I haven’t. With the breakup, money shortages, health problems and just life getting in the way our nearly monthly visits turned into every three months or so. It’s the “or so” that kills things.

I love him, I do, but I dislike the distance I feel when we’re so far away. It’s our job to do something about it, but I mostly blame myself. Without Donovan I wouldn’t have had some wonderful experiences, and I wouldn’t have had someone to cushion my fall. (Here comes the sappiness) If I’ve made it sound like I don’t care or love him I’m doing it wrong. I love him so, so very much. Even if I frustrate the hell out of him. And I know the feeling is reciprocated…the love not the frustration. Anyway, i hope to be seeing him this July and to stop trying to use my words to express my feelings. Sometimes I suck at words.

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My apologies in advance for how rambling this post is, but read the post and you’ll probably understand why it is this way.

I’m broke, aching and worn out. Let me rewind a bit. I drove up to visit Will yesterday after work (yeah I get to work on holidays, go me…) he was running two test games of D&D “Next”. We had a blast, honestly, give it a shot if you know someone in the beta. I managed to make it up there without spending any actual money thanks to a horded gas card from two Christmases ago and a ten cent discount from a Kroger Plus card.

Will and his other girlfriend cooked a ton of food, brats and burgers on the grill, pasta salad, roasted potatoes, queso, buffalo chicken dip…have I mentioned my guy can cook? (Our guy? One of my guys?) Game was fun, and we got some cuddle times after. I’d hoped to spend the night, but we both needed better sleep than that.

Which leads me to…I really hate goodbyes. Why do I hate goodbyes? I hate being alone.

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What I Watched: Tying the Knot

Poster pic

Watch it here

If you have that family member who isn’t actively anti-gay but can’t quite bear to “be ok with” same-sex marriage, try watching this film with them.  It shows clearly how in love couples are, but also the harm caused by not recognizing marriage. There is a widow who could not receive her all but legal wife’s police pension, a widower whose home was taken away by cousins of his deceased husband; whether it’s legal restrictions or downright cruelty, the pain is very, very real.

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Weekend Geekery

This evening I have a World of Darkness game to play in – we’re something of a mixed bag as far as where we’re going with it – and I may or may not be gaming some on Monday depending on if I stay in town with friends or family or visit Will for a Pathfinder or D&D beta game. I may even see daylight.. outdoors. (And this sticks well within my “don’t spend money because you don’t feckin’ have any” rule.)


  • just did an article on World of Darkness if you’re curious
  • Matt Smith carried the torch!
  • BLACKOUT is a fantastic book.  Have you read the Newsflesh series? Zombies? Bloggers? My favorite author ever (under a pen name)?  Read them all!
  • Watch Stephen Fry in America. I’m entertained enough by it that I’m getting no cleaning done in my kitchen.

And, I recommend the game We Didn’t Playtest This At All for a silly, short and fun card game. I got it for fairly cheap on Amazon, but it looks more expensive there now.  It’s ridiculous and awesome for it.

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Time is Money… which is why there’s never enough of either.

Watch and coinsSo, I woke up this morning to a negative bank balance of WTF. How did this happen? I was $500 ahead, right? So I check my account and realize that I have fucked up royally.  I moved my already meager savings over to checking and then drove through an ATM on the way to work to deposit some money from my graduation (Mental note: I really need to finish my thank you notes…)

Does everyone cringe before looking at their bank account balance or is that just me?  Is this some habit of avoidance I’ve developed because I’ve always felt short on money? (Answer: Yes.) Or is it something that everyone does?

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There is an art, it says,…

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Happy Towel Day everyone!  Pick up a Douglas Adams book today and discover the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything.  Spoiler alert: The answer is 42.


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May 25, 2012 · 7:00 pm


Note: I’ve been letting my partners choose their own pseudonyms.  Names have been changed and specific locations obscured to protect the very, very guilty.

James is who introduced me to the idea of open relationships. We met online, in an MMO, and hung out a lot in game. As I got to know him he mentioned that he and his wife were in an open marriage. Screeching brakes. Wait what? I wasn’t completely unfamiliar with the concept, but had never met anyone who was or admitted to being in one. I don’t remember if my first thought was that he was lying or not, but I know I spoke to his wife in game at some point and she corroborated his story.

At the time I was dating “The Ex”. It was an on-again, off-again seven year long relationship. High school “sweethearts” turned unhealthy adult relationship. I wouldn’t even call it adult, as it was very immature. Anyway, when The Ex broke up with me for the last time, James was the one I called and bawled my eyes out to. He was the one I visited that New Years and started dating shortly after. In what will be a theme of my relationships, James lives a significant distance away. About 800 miles or a 15 hour drive. We saw each other several times that first year and have settled into a habit of daily phone calls, including some very explicit ones, and yearly visits.

We’ve been together for more than 3 years now. He’s geeky, and loving and all sorts of wonderful, and our relationship has continued to grow and change throughout these past years. (Oh no, I’m getting sappy. Run while you can!!) For a long time I saw myself as the monogamous person in a polyamorous relationship. James always encouraged me to find a more local partner, something I’m typically kind of terrible at. But his philosophy was always, “As long as I can still be your friend and talk to you, I want you to find someone else and be happy.”  Despite some of my depressive moods, James has made me very, very happy for these past years.

Outside of the sappiness, he also introduced me to D&D and I first dipped my toes into the world of tabletop gaming with my pixie ranger: Chase Shimmernyx and her Quantum Badger.  Often shoved in mugs of alcohol by annoyed party members, but occasionally saves the day.  And she totally pressed the big red button.  Multiple times.  More on her later, I’m sure.


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LARP- Another kind of swinging…

I am a relatively new LARPer. OK, I’m a very new LARPer. Will got me into it and I leapt in with all the eagerness that one does in a new relationship. I spent this past weekend running around in the woods hitting people with a foam sword and blocking them with my shield. I’m very good at the blocking (I think) but not as good at the hitting.

What I love about it already is that I get to fully roleplay a character above and beyond the tabletop experience. I. Love. Roleplay. My tabletop characters typically are incredibly fleshed out, my World of Warcraft characters had full histories and being in character with my words and actions was the norm. I cannot write a story worth anything, but I love to write characters. Real, flawed, wonderful, annoying characters. So I have a dwarf, a lesbian dwarf who is fresh from the mines and a little shocked by the greater world. She has a backstory and some heartache, and is already conflicted about the right thing to do in this other world. She also doesn’t get the game of spin the bottle that someone tried to rope her into playing. Why bother after all?

The flip side of this is that my dwarf can only really do what I can do. If I can reach the skeleton with my sword,  she can too. If I can throw a fabric packet and hit the vicious vorpal bunny, she can too. But if I can’t do these things, or remember the right incant for the spells I want to cast…neither can she. It’s empowering and humbling at the same time. When I do something particularly awesome, it really is because I did something awesome. My MMO character might be more badass, but I am more fantastic by far with the things I do in a LARP.

What isn’t so good about it? Well, I’m out of fighting shape. I was never in fighting shape. I might have seen a fighting shape once, but I am not in it now. Swinging a sword, even one made of foam and a solid core, is tiring. Swinging it and defending yourself while retreating backwards up a hill in the soft turf of a mulched horse trail is exhausting. This I can deal with, I’ll get better.

My favorite line, used by Will to wear me down on my anti-LARP stance is that LARPing is just sports for nerds. As a firm believer that fantasy football is just D&D for jocks, I couldn’t argue…much…Ok I argued, but that’s the nature of my stubbornness. I can see this being a huge time and money sink but I think it’s more than worth it if I can keep myself from getting too overboard.


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So hello everyone, welcome to my blog that is just about… me 🙂

Who are you?  I’m a polyamorous, pansexual, geeky girl from the Midwest.

What do your crazy words mean?

  • Polyamorous – I’m non-monogamous. I date multiple people at the same time and it’s all open and honest.
  • Pansexual – It would be easier just to say ‘bisexual’ right? Short version: Gender doesn’t typically play into my interest in sexual or romantic partners. Long version will get its own post
  • Geeky – I think these days this speaks for itself right? I LARP; I play tabletop RPGs; I get together with my friends for boardgame night and am an on-again/off-again MMORPG player too.

There are a lot of other words to describe me, but since these are kind of in the name of my blog, I figured I’d start here.

What will this blog be about?   Me. I think I might be interesting enough to catch the attention of some people, but even if I’m not I have too that I want to write about to keep it to myself. So even if I only interest myself, this should be fun!


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